Opinion: Ranking Vice City's Radio Stations

This is an opinion piece. The station names, hosts and songs are drawn from the game’s documented soundtrack; the ranking is purely personal taste, and you are welcome to be wrong about it.

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City has nine radio stations, but two of them, K-Chat and VCPR, are talk shows rather than music. That leaves seven music stations to rank, and the fun of this exercise is that the game’s radio is so dense that every choice costs something. Here is my order, from favourite to least favourite.

1. Flash FM. Pop and rock from the mid-eighties, hosted by Toni. The documented playlist includes “Out of Touch” by Hall and Oates, “Billie Jean” by Michael Jackson, “Run to You” by Bryan Adams and “Video Killed the Radio Star” by The Buggles. It is the station that most directly sounds like the decade the game is depicting, and it is the one I would leave on for the longest stretch. It is not the most adventurous, but it is the most reliably enjoyable.

2. Wave 103. New wave and synthpop, hosted by Adam First. This is the station with the best sense of style: “Two Tribes” by Frankie Goes To Hollywood, “Love Missile F1-11” by Sigue Sigue Sputnik, Gary Numan’s “Cars” and Blondie’s “Atomic”. It suits driving at night with the neon reflecting off the bonnet, and it is the closest thing the game has to a mood board.

3. Emotion 98.3. Power ballads and soft rock, hosted by Fernando Martinez. Foreigner’s “Waiting for a Girl Like You,” Cutting Crew’s “(I Just) Died in Your Arms,” Toto’s “Africa” and Luther Vandross’s “Never Too Much” are among its songs. It is a guilty pleasure that stops being guilty the moment you start singing. It works because the game commits to it, and because a stolen sports car and a soaring chorus are a very good combination.

4. Fever 105. Soul, disco and R&B, hosted by Oliver “Ladykiller” Biscuit. The playlist features The Whispers, The Pointer Sisters, Rick James and Kool & The Gang. It is a warm, danceable station, and for many players it is the one that sets the pace for an easygoing drive. 5. V-Rock. Hard rock and heavy metal, hosted by Lazlow. Twisted Sister’s “I Wanna Rock,” Ozzy Osbourne’s “Bark at the Moon,” Iron Maiden’s “2 Minutes to Midnight” and Slayer’s “Raining Blood” are all on the roster. It is loud, fast and ideal for a shootout. It is ranked here only because it does not fit the quieter parts of the game as well as the others do.

6. Wildstyle. Hip-hop and electro, hosted by Mr. Magic. Trouble Funk’s “Pump Me Up,” Cybotron’s “Clear,” Herbie Hancock’s “Rockit” and Run-D.M.C.’s “Rock Box” show a strong understanding of the early scene. It is historically fascinating and stylistically distinct, and I admire it more than I listen to it. That is a taste judgement, not a quality one.

7. Radio Espantoso. Latin jazz and mambo, hosted by Pepe. Cachao, Machito, Irakere and Tito Puente are among the artists. Last place on a list like this is not a criticism of the music, which is excellent. It is simply the station I reach for least, and I suspect that says more about my habits than about its worth. If you want the game to feel like a real place, this is the station that honours its Latin community best.

Talk radio. K-Chat and VCPR are not part of the ranking, but they deserve a note. K-Chat, hosted by Amy Sheckenhausen, features celebrity interviews, while VCPR offers satirical talk with hosts Jonathan Freeloader and Michelle Montanius. They are part of why the radio feels like a real dial rather than a jukebox.

If you disagree, good. The best thing a soundtrack like this can do is generate arguments, and Vice City has been generating them for over two decades.